interview with a cyborg

i finally spoke to one of my most mysterious internet icons

If you were born anywhere between the late ‘90s and early 2000s, it’s probably not very unusual to have a favorite YouTube video. In the early days of the site, before it was monetized and turned into the most popular video platform in the United States, it was a repository of one-off uploads: video diaries no one watched, lyric videos crafted by pre-teens, gross-out song parodies, and sketch comedy usually of the ‘so random XD’ variety. It was definitely not a more innocent place — it was quite easy to stumble upon gore or sexual content even if your parents had placed filters on your browser — but it was certainly a more egalitarian place. It wasn’t necessary to have an editor or ring lights to gain an audience; it wasn’t even necessary to show your face. Not to say, “back in my day,” but Back In My Day it was actually less common for creators to develop their entire channel around a cult of personality. YouTube wasn’t yet obviously profitable, and the most successful videos usually achieved popularity by accident, through word of mouth. You only have to look as far as the mass hysteria over “Llamas with Hats” and its resulting Hot Topic merch to understand how different the video landscape was in those days.

One of the side effects of YouTube’s egalitarianism was that it opened the floodgates for young people to post their art online without worrying about traditional distribution. Gone were the days of passing around mixtapes amongst a localized friend group; now, there was a captive audience hungry for new music, receptive to amateur art (not derogatory) that wasn’t created in a studio or with expensive cameras. You could even link the rise of DIY bedroom pop to this very phenomenon. And if you couldn’t sing or play the guitar, no problem, because another popular music trend was crafting homemade music videos using clips from existing materials. Now, I believe this genre is referred to as ‘edits’, where users place a song over footage from a favorite film or TV show. Oftentimes, these edits were linked to specific fandoms — the Twilight x My Chemical Romance mash-up existed basically as its own subgenre — but sometimes they were standalone projects. One such collage artist who amassed a large following of film and music enthusiasts was the mysterious user ‘i’m a cyborg but that’s ok’.

i’m a cyborg but that’s ok has been posting videos since the summer of 2016, and they now have over one million subscribers. It’s difficult to categorize their work, but I’d describe the vast majority of their pieces as alternate music videos to popular indie songs using images and clips from iconic arthouse films. If you were a teenage girl who liked indie rock in the mid-2010s, you’ve probably seen their videos even if you don’t know them by name. I stumbled upon their channel in 2016, while searching for the Mac Demarco song “My Kind of Woman” on YouTube. Cyborg’s video was the first result, superseding even Demarco’s own music video. It now has 14 million views. I remember watching it over and over again in my college dorm, headphones on, captivated by the perfect assemblage of sound and images. It’s not a stretch to suggest that Cyborg traffics in the same sort of visual arena as someone like Kenneth Anger. Through the merging of anachronistic songs and films, they create a parallel history, an anthropological text that, in its flouting of regional and temporal fealty, actually feels quite specific to its time.

Cyborg has remained anonymous for about a decade now — I am unsure of their age, gender, or place of origin. I can hedge a bet, but I’d rather respect their desire for privacy. After all, their work is all about the universalizing power of the internet, an ode to the anachronistic, the intentionally out-of-sync. They match Godard films with Mac Demarco songs, British New Wave anthems with Chinese arthouse hits. Cyborg’s channel retains elements of the early Internet’s ‘global cafe’ utopia, a place where a young person with editing software and a computer can amass a following of other young people who don’t even speak the same language as them. This utopian feeling is potent especially in the comments section of their videos, where unnamed YouTube viewers profess their unrequited love or tell tragic stories from their past, often prompting comforting replies from viewers who are going through or have gone through a similar experience. It’s like a digital confessional booth, mediated by a screen, this time LED rather than oak or cedar.

Having been obsessed with Cyborg’s videos since my teen years, I managed to reach out to them via their professional email. I was motivated to do this specifically after having a conversation with a friend who grew up in Europe and also watched Cyborg’s channel — you know who you are! Cyborg agreed to an interview, which has been edited slightly for clarity. You can see Cyborg’s work by following their YouTube channel (linked above) or by subscribing to their Patreon.

Do you remember the first movie you really loved? What was your experience of watching it?

Boh lei chun [Gorgeous, Vincent Kok, 1999]! I watched it when I was a kid, and I remember feeling like there was something for me in the world, a strange feeling that I wasn’t alone. I remember in one of the scenes a character says she loved taking baths, and she also ate chicken with her hands so naturally and happily. I don’t know exactly why, but those scenes touched my heart deeply.

When did your childhood love for film turn into an interest in film as an art form?

My father introduced me to the movies. He was a rude and controlling man, and he controlled the movies I watched. He wouldn't let me watch just anything. He would always choose… old comedies or crime dramas. He wouldn’t let me watch things like romance films or teen movies. When there were kissing scenes, he would cover my eyes, for example. To be honest, I’m grateful. Having the opportunity to spend my childhood watching such cool movies created something good inside me. So it [started] during my childhood that I watched movies with my father and also played at acting and filming with a purple toy camera that I had. That’s when I realized that cinema is so special to me.

Who were some of the bands or musicians who inspired you early on?

I think music in general has always inspired me to do something, but my channel started to get a good amount of audience when I started posting songs by the bands Cigarettes After Sex, the Pixies, and Mac Demarco. I actually find songs randomly on Spotify and YouTube all the time!

Why did you decide to start your own YouTube channel?

I didn’t imagine that other people would show up. A curious fact is that I never advertised my channel anywhere.

Were there any online communities that you were a part of at the time? I remember seeing your edits specifically on Tumblr, and there was a real sense of community around them.

I don’t think so. That's so interesting to know that, because I’ve never used Tumblr with my channel.

How did you choose your username? I assume it's because of the Park Chan-wook film, but I also feel like it encapsulates your channel’s position on the internet. There’s a sense of intentional anonymity, especially with the ghost in your profile photo. It’s almost as if by preserving your identity you can create a more universal experience.

Yes, it’s because of the movie. It’s one of my favorites, and I identify a lot with the main characters. I’ve always had trouble seeing myself as a human being. I’ve always liked the idea of being “something.” I identified more with a tree or a flower than with other humans. In the past this was much more intense; nowadays I can socialize “normally,” in fact, I’m much better in this area. The anonymity is intentional. I like who I am. It’s not a lack of self-esteem. I’m just reserved and a little bit of a shy person. I also really like the idea of having people interested in something I do or in who I am internally and not externally. But if one day I manage to get out of my prison in terms of being able to make my first movie, I’ll probably end the anonymity at some point!

How did you pair the film to the song? I think my favorite is “My Kind of Woman” set to Masculin feminin. I honestly believe that seeing your video inspired me to revisit the film.

I’m just existing and some random combination comes to mind, or I try to find a combination at the time. I think of a song, and I force my brain to think of a movie that matches. I really like [Masculin feminin] too! In this case, when I heard the song “My Kind of Woman” I definitely remembered Paul completely in love with Madeleine. I feel like this song goes through his mind every time he looks at her.

Do you have any interest in making feature films yourself? I know you have a second channel where you post beautiful video collages.

Yes, I feel like it’s a kind of mission, but for some reason I run away from it with all my strength. I have an external hard drive with over a thousand videos that I filmed. I once wrote a script to make my first short film. I wrote the script, filmed a few scenes, but something stopped me again, something in my mind. I hope one day I can get out of this and do things like a normal human being who would certainly take advantage of opportunities that I don’t.

Do you have any thoughts on your comments section and the community you’ve built? I love reading through the comments on your videos. They’re always so sweet and vulnerable, there’s real poetry being written there!

I feel lucky. Some people have been commenting on my channel for years, and I recognize several people in the comments. I’ve cried reading some comments, laughed, been scared or worried… It’s fun, it’s really adorable. I have the feeling that most of my subscribers are sensitive and nice people, with a lot of love in their hearts, even if life is cruel. Sometimes they comment big explosions or declarations of love. I also feel like a treasure chest of romantic secrets :)